Dear James the depressed weasel who can’t sing,
I’m sorry you can’t go to the Bahamas with me to pet capybaras. I hope your depression is getting better, and I hope you are taking the voice lessons I bought for you. I also won the lottery, and I am now the richest person on Earth while you live in a shed, trying to sing even though you can’t. Your big teeth get in the way. Stop singing. This is probably why you’re depressed. Oh well.
Goodbye,
Sydney B.
Dear James, I’m really sorry I couldn’t take you to Coachella. I know how much you cry, but really, it's not that personal. I mean, I’d rather listen to Melanie Martinez than you. I’ve said it, and I’ll say it again; you can’t sing! Next time I see you I’ll make sure to bring you an album so maybe you can actually learn a thing or two from someone who’s better. By the way, don’t ask for money from homeless people anymore; they cant give you charity they don’t have! Thanks, weasel. I’ll see you later, James. And try not to have the neighbors call the police again. It sounds like someone’s dying!
Sincerely,
Abby N.
Hey, I heard you are having trouble. I wanted to tell you I am hear for you. And they may tell you your singing is horrible and it is, so give up. You can’t sing. LOL. The beach is amazing. Just wanted to remind you you can’t sing. Just stop singing!
Best Wishes,
Jake B.
I’m sorry you can’t go to the Bahamas with me to pet capybaras. I hope your depression is getting better, and I hope you are taking the voice lessons I bought for you. I also won the lottery, and I am now the richest person on Earth while you live in a shed, trying to sing even though you can’t. Your big teeth get in the way. Stop singing. This is probably why you’re depressed. Oh well.
Goodbye,
Sydney B.
Dear James, I’m really sorry I couldn’t take you to Coachella. I know how much you cry, but really, it's not that personal. I mean, I’d rather listen to Melanie Martinez than you. I’ve said it, and I’ll say it again; you can’t sing! Next time I see you I’ll make sure to bring you an album so maybe you can actually learn a thing or two from someone who’s better. By the way, don’t ask for money from homeless people anymore; they cant give you charity they don’t have! Thanks, weasel. I’ll see you later, James. And try not to have the neighbors call the police again. It sounds like someone’s dying!
Sincerely,
Abby N.
Hey, I heard you are having trouble. I wanted to tell you I am hear for you. And they may tell you your singing is horrible and it is, so give up. You can’t sing. LOL. The beach is amazing. Just wanted to remind you you can’t sing. Just stop singing!
Best Wishes,
Jake B.